Friday, February 26, 2016

Friday Funny

I happened on this link:
The Most Awkward Gynecologist Visit Ever
...and it made me laugh out loud. Is it true? Who knows...who cares. It's funny. Click the link, or read below.
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort.

So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn’t respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal...some shopping, cleaning, and cooking. After school when my 6-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

Never going back to that doctor again. Never.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Frequency and Cum Towels

Here's an article that came up in my Facebook feed, and of course I couldn't resist seeing what it said:
Here's How Much Sex You Should Be Having, According To Science
If you'd rather not click, the one-line takeaway is that you need sex once a week to be happy, according to a recent University of Toronto study.

The Sensual Goddess will be sure to bring this up when telling me how spoiled I am. And maybe once a week seems like paradise when you're used to much less. But I guess I am spoiled. I need more than that - significantly more.

Actually, we could easily contribute to a study on frequency of sexual activity. All you'd have to do is look at our laundry. JFBreak writes in his latest post:
When we were done with our post sex rituals (I know we aren't the only ones who keep a bedside table full of cumrags)....
That's us too. Maybe it's every couple. My bedside nightstand has a number of blue/green ex-dish towels that we now call cum towels. They're only used for post-sex cleanup, and the number of cum towels in any given laundry is often the source of good-natured banter about who's spoiled (or neglected, depending on the week.) The kids would *die* if they knew what those towels were for.

Those old green towels are getting fairly ratty though. Doing a quick web search gives me an idea for a birthday gift. A set of these seems perfect....

Friday, January 22, 2016

A Multitasker

Afterwards, the Sensual Goddess lay in my arms...snuggling...both of us enjoying the nice relaxed feel of our naked bodies pressed together. Finally, I got up to use the bathroom and get ready for bed. When I returned, she grabbed her pajamas and headed for the bathroom.

I lay in the dark, sated, when my phone buzzed...text message. It was from Younger Daughter at college. I read it. It didn't need to be answered until morning and I was too tired to start a text conversation, so I didn't reply. I saw I had a Facebook notification. Eh, why not...I tapped and looked.
Sensual Goddess changed her profile picture
18 minutes ago
Wait...she did what?!? She changed her Facebook profile picture...during our lovemaking...and I didn't notice???

When she returned from the bathroom, I complimented her on her multitasking ability. She was incredulous and grabbed her phone. It turns out there was an explanation that didn't involve secret Facebooking. She had set a temporary profile pic a week or two ago, and FB picked that moment to restore the previous profile pic.

Mystery solved. But she had me wondering there for a minute.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

A Spinner

(No, not that kind of spinner)
As we were getting ready for bed last night, the Sensual Goddess turned and asked me:
SG: Do you know what a spinner is?

Me: In what context?

SG (laughing): You know what context.

Me: Of course. A girl who's small enough that while she rides your cock you can grab her legs and spin her like a propeller.

SG (laughing and shaking her head): How did you know that!?

Me (laughing): It's common knowledge. Everyone knows that.
Okay, maybe it's not quite common knowledge, but the Urban Dictionary agrees with me.
A petite woman. Denoted as a joke, whereby the petite woman is so thin she is able to be mounted and spun in a circle on an erect penis.
"She's a spinner."
She asked me how I knew of the term, and I had to think. It's been many many years. I'm pretty sure it was college or post-college, and one of my friends (a big muscular guy) would refer to petite girls as spinners.

I asked where she heard the term, and it was on an episode of the Kardashians. Go figure. I've tried to enforce a Kardashian-free zone on any room I'm in - but I can't be everywhere at once.

Who knows what those wacky Kardashians will teach us next?