Saturday, July 19, 2014

A Small Wager

I've recently been visiting some colleges and taking the campus tours with a daughter. She's a good kid and good company, and it's been a lot of fun. But I've about had it with the tour guides. First of all, everything they say is sales pitch and propaganda. According to the guides, every school we've been to is filled with 100% engaged students who are completely thrilled at the education they're getting, a faculty who lives and breathes to get to know their undergrads better and give them sage guidance, dining halls serving food that's both nutritious and delicious, etc., etc. Sorry, I've been to college, and I know sugar-coating when I hear it.

Secondly, the tour guides are the over-achievers. Straight A students, president of five different clubs, involved in everything. Apparently never had a beer, a smoke, or kissed a girl. It's party line all the way. Do not say *anything* that might alarm the parents.

Anyway, one of these brown-nosers told the following story to illustrate how amazing the food service was at his school. A female friend of his is vegan, and he's a cheeseburger kind of guy. Well, she bet him that he could eat nothing but the school's vegan offerings for two weeks and be perfectly happy. He did it, and was *delighted* with the food. So she owed him.

At this point, my imagination kicked in. After I've eaten nothing but vegan food for two weeks, what am I asking for in return?

A blowjob every day for two weeks? That seems like a fair trade....

Or maybe something like this. Pay off the debt in one night. That would work too.

But no, here's what he got in return. The next semester, she had to take an art history class that he loved.



  1. Lol at this post!! I remember my tour guide too..she was awesome. Giving the party line to the parents and pulling us kids aside to give us the "real deal" about campus life.

    I don't think the kids today have the same experience. Feels very "Stepford" from what you describe here.

    Such a weird dichotomy..the kids see everything and anything online but suffer from "helicopter" parents "protecting" them. All I can say is I'm glad I grew up in the pre-social media era. And I loved my college years!

    Best wishes to dad and daughter!

  2. Mmmm... art history. Where they turn off the lights and show slides of naked people in classical positions and... hmmm... Oops. Where was I? I suppose it won't surprise you that I was a guide for awhile in college. I did give the parents and kids different spiels! Hope she finds a great college!

  3. Seems like the Art History class would be like another two weeks of vegan food! I would have thought the cheeseburger guy would be more into Explorations into Bowling or an Independent Study of Fly Fishing!

  4. I used to do those tours when I was in college. I was in student government. During a psych class I was having the group sit in on the professor was lecturing on Freudian theory. "Sex and aggression" was all I heard then blurted out "my two favorite subects" tge class and mmyself 01 professor four years ago laughed. Too bad you didn't have a wise ass like me....or maybe your daughter would have passed on my school. Loved the pictures.