Tuesday, July 29, 2014

What is Your Sexy Song?

Simplicity asks the question, in her blog post of today, "What is your sexy song?"

Interesting question, and I have an immediate answer. It's not a song that exactly puts me in the mood - but it has very strong sexual connotations for me.

I've written of my first time, and I mention at the end that "I slunk home, half mortified but also half exultant that I was no longer a virgin." On that drive home, I had the radio on and was mentally thanking every god I had ever prayed to for help in losing my virginity. And now (thank goodness!) I could finally honestly say that I wasn't a virgin. Gratitude and relief were literally washing over me. (As an aside, I realized recently that the event in question happened 30 years ago this week. Yikes.)

Anyway, the song. I was driving home with the radio on, and "Round and Round", the one and only hit by metal band Ratt came on. The hard pumping beat was exactly what I was feeling, and I turned it up loud. It felt and sounded *perfect*. At that moment, all was right with the world.

The song got airplay for the rest of that summer, and I'd keep my buddies from changing the station when it came on. They'd tease me about liking the song, and I just smiled a secret smile. Actually, when talking about music and bands, sometimes they'll still tease me about it ("Hey Max, how about we put on some Ratt for you?") - and I still smile inwardly.

I'm pretty certain this song will make no one else's list - but hearing it will always transport me back to a memorable summer night.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

A Small Wager

I've recently been visiting some colleges and taking the campus tours with a daughter. She's a good kid and good company, and it's been a lot of fun. But I've about had it with the tour guides. First of all, everything they say is sales pitch and propaganda. According to the guides, every school we've been to is filled with 100% engaged students who are completely thrilled at the education they're getting, a faculty who lives and breathes to get to know their undergrads better and give them sage guidance, dining halls serving food that's both nutritious and delicious, etc., etc. Sorry, I've been to college, and I know sugar-coating when I hear it.

Secondly, the tour guides are the over-achievers. Straight A students, president of five different clubs, involved in everything. Apparently never had a beer, a smoke, or kissed a girl. It's party line all the way. Do not say *anything* that might alarm the parents.

Anyway, one of these brown-nosers told the following story to illustrate how amazing the food service was at his school. A female friend of his is vegan, and he's a cheeseburger kind of guy. Well, she bet him that he could eat nothing but the school's vegan offerings for two weeks and be perfectly happy. He did it, and was *delighted* with the food. So she owed him.

At this point, my imagination kicked in. After I've eaten nothing but vegan food for two weeks, what am I asking for in return?

A blowjob every day for two weeks? That seems like a fair trade....

Or maybe something like this. Pay off the debt in one night. That would work too.

But no, here's what he got in return. The next semester, she had to take an art history class that he loved.