Monday, November 4, 2013

What Made Me Start?

Advizor posted over the weekend about his meeting with Ryan Beaumont. That sounds like a lot of fun, and I'm sure there was plenty of interesting conversation.

He poses these questions:
     What made you start?
     What is your origin story? Your first episode? Your original motivation?
     Why did you become a blogger?
The short answer: I'm a vain attention whore. I find writing/blogging very rewarding as a way to express myself.

I know, I've used that joke before, but it makes me laugh because there's so much truth in it.

The longer answer: I discovered a number of things about myself in my 30's that were completely unexpected. The first (as I've blogged about ad nauseum) is that in the right circumstances, I could be a sensual and a sexual beast. It's impossible to overestimate what a shock this was - I was a fairly repressed young man with a lot of mistaken (and mostly unexamined) ideas about sexuality and men and women and right and wrong. Discovering that there was a whole world I hadn't imagined was stunning, and continues to be a delightful surprise.

At the same time, I discovered that (again, in the right circumstances) I really enjoyed writing. Previous to that, my only writing experience was school assignments, which always felt painful. But I found that when writing about things I cared about, or felt strongly about, that the words flowed fairly effortlessly, and I really enjoyed expressing myself. I found some correspondents, and found that I loved writing about life, the universe, and everything. I also found that erotica flowed pretty freely from my keyboard, and got some enthusiastic feedback.

I can't honestly remember how I discovered this blogging community. But when I did discover it, I knew I wanted to be a part of it. I thought I had stories to tell, whether reminiscences from my past or figments of my active imagination. And I hoped for feedback.

I'm probably among the minority here in that my spouse is an avid reader. Before I started the blog, I pointed the Sensual Goddess at some sex blogs, and asked what she thought about me starting one. She was enthusiastically supportive, and remains so. She's also my first line of feedback - she never knows what's coming, but I tell her when I've posted something. Hearing laughter (at what I hoped would be funny) or "you're so damned bad" at other posts is much-appreciated feedback.

I am a vain attention whore, I couldn't possibly deny it. If the writing was the only important thing, I could write a story and save it on my laptop. But I don't leave it at that - I post it on the Internet for the whole world to see. And while I don't write with the goal of getting page hits or comments, you'd better believe I pay attention to page hits and comments. I *adore* hearing that a post of mine affected you in some way, and just seeing that you're reading this is a reward. I don't post or comment as much as I used to, but I can't see this blog going away. When I get an idea or feel inspired to post, I love having this outlet.


  1. My husband knows about my blog, too. I couldn't conceive of doing this without him in the loop. And, if I am posting about him, I give him a heads up beforehand and ask if he wants to read it before it posts. So far, he's declined. But the offer is there.

  2. I am so glad you started... and continue!

  3. So I guess we need to meet for coffee some time in Gettysburg! They don't have a Starbucks but I love the fudge at Kilwin's!

    1. Great idea! I'll let you know when I'll be out that way.

  4. Glad you're blogging.

  5. I always enjoy your stories, and even more I love how supportive you are of other bloggers.

  6. From one vain attention whore to another, the sex blogging sphere is a better place with you in it.

    Long may you write (the sexy words that leave me smiling wickedly), Max...