Sunday, August 21, 2011

You Got Here How?

Like many bloggers, I pay attention to the stats on my blog. It's just pure-and-simple curiosity - I wonder who's reading what I write, how they find me, and for Google searches, what keywords made Google suggest this blog?

The results are interesting. The most frequent way people get here is directly, which I assume means they have me bookmarked. If those people want to let me know who they are, I'll be sure to send flowers on your birthday. :-) Alternately, drinks are on me if you're ever in Maxville.

The next most frequent way is referrals from other blogs, which I take to mean people who have me on their blogrolls. This also includes Flash Fiction Friday posts, which are great fun (and I encourage anyone considering playing to just jump in and give it a go.) Again, I'm extremely grateful to my blogroll friends, and extend the same offer of flowers/drinks to Maxville visitors.

The third source is e[lust], which I can't say enough good about. I try to post a story to each edition of e[lust], and I always get a big spike in traffic when the new edition comes out. I do note that e[lust] readers are lurkers - for all the traffic I've received, I don't think I've ever gotten a comment or a follower.

The fourth source is Google, and here's where it gets really interesting. Here are common keywords, and the post they presumably find:
  • The most popular keywords are variations on "deep throat", which presumably gets them to my post where I discuss what is and isn't a deep throat, and offer myself as judge in all disputes. No one's yet taken me up on that offer, but of course it still stands.

  • Very surprisingly, the next most popular keywords are combinations of "blue" and "sky", which presumably lands them on my "Saturday happy" post dedicated to the Allman Brothers song of that name. I'm stunned that Google searches on those very common words sends people to me.

  • I get a number of hits from variations on "handjob", owing to my posts on the lowly handjob (here and here.) No hits yet on "Canadian handjob" - that must still be a north-of-the-border secret.  But I have had a hit on "goat handjobs." Seriously - goats?!?

  • This has thankfully slowed down, but after I posted my story "The Young Mom", I got a number of extremely creepy hits that contained variations of "young". Sorry, just no.

  • Some ones that made me smile, with my comments in italics:
    • "spread your legs a little wider" (Great idea!)
    • "im in your shower" (Hopefully not using up all my hot water....)
    • "slave warrior queen" and "warrior slaves muscles tits" (Umm, I don't think you're going to find what you're looking for here, but thanks for stopping by. :-))
    • "your butt cheeks is warm" (Nice thought, although it raises my grammar-Nazi blood pressure a notch.  I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that English isn't their primary language.)


  1. It's always very interesting to find out how people came to our blogs. I found yours a long time ago ; ) through the FFF,and since then I couldn't stop coming back to Maxville!
    Oh, thanks for the flowers and the drinks...

  2. Your comments in the last part of this post are funny, funny, funny. Now I'm off to read about deep-throating and tweet that tips on goat hand-jobs can be found at



  3. My flowers must have been confiscated at the border. :)

    Funny keywords you got there!! Some people are just weird.

  4. Does being a follower count as having you bookmarked? My search keywords are all boring variations of my name. How am I missing out on the crazy Google-searcher traffic? But hey, you're in my Top 10 all-time traffic sources, so maybe the crazy is rubbing off ;)

  5. I don't remember how I found your blog but I'm glad I did. ;-)

  6. Goat handjobs? Surely everyone knows koalas are so much better at this form of pleasure. ;)

    (I like the thought of drinks at Maxville. When you're done, you should pop over for martinis at Minxville...)