Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I've seen newspaper and magazine articles recently that would have you believe that no-strings-attached sex is the universally-accepted norm among kids, and that a blowjob is to them what a goodnight kiss was to me at that age. That may well be true for some, but it's not universal.
My observation is that the opposite sex does notice him, but he doesn't realize that they're noticing him. It breaks my heart to see, because he reminds me of myself at that age. The issue, of course, is confidence. I'm *certain* that if he walked up to these young ladies and said "Hi, how are you?" that they'd be very pleased to talk to him. But he sees that as completely out of the question.
Unfortunately, there's not a thing I can do to help. He's going to have to develop it (or realize it) all by himself. Again, I know this from painful experience. I knew back then that my issue was confidence - I had it in many areas of my life, but not around women. I didn't feel it, and you cannot fake it. Lord knows I tried.
Another example from those days that drilled this lesson into me. My first job post-college was at a big consulting firm. On my first project, I worked with one of the ugliest men I've ever met - short, balding, bad complexion, goggle-eyed (he reminded me of a horror show verson of Kermit the Frog) - but very personable, and completely confident with women. And he got laid. Oh yes he did. It was one of the biggest shocks of my life. I looked on in amazement and shook my head at the cruelty of the universe.
The quandry is that (unless you're part of that alien-to-me breed that's somehow born with confidence) you don't have success until you feel confident, but it takes a success to give you confidence. Once I had success, confidence followed immediately. And I never looked back. I hope my young friend will discover this soon.