Monday, April 18, 2011

Quick Thinking

I've read a few blog posts recently on being caught by kids in embarrassing (or potentially embarrassing) situations. We've never been caught in the act. Kids *have* knocked on the bedroom door and come in at potentially bad times, but we always heard the knock and were able to de-couple and act like nothing was happening. But there was one time. We got a question that seemed like it had no good answer.

This happened years ago, and the kids were maybe in the 5-8 year-old range. It was a weekend morning and we were all in my bedroom talking about something. The bed was unmade and the blankets were down. One of the girls noticed stains on the sheets. Big stains. The kind of stains I'm capable of making after being pent up for a few days.

She pointed at the stains, looked at the Sensual Goddess, and asked innocently, "What happened there?"

The Sensual Goddess looked at me with wide deer-in-the-headlights eyes - speechless, panic-stricken, begging for help.

Thoughts whirled through my head at a million miles per hour. What could we possibly say that wouldn't just lead to more questions?

After what seemed like an hour of expectant silence, but was probably really a second or two, I shrugged and said, "It looks like somebody spilled something."

We held our breath. Would it work?

Thankfully, they accepted that without any further questions. I changed the subject, and we both exhaled. A moment later they bounded happily out of the room. The Sensual Goddess gave me a look that was half grateful awe for her rescue, and the other half an accusing raised eyebrow, as if she had just discovered that I was potentially even badder than she had previously thought possible.

"Somebody spilled something, huh?"

I could only laugh. And I still laugh at the memory. It might be the quickest thinking I've ever done. The answer just popped into my head. And in hindsight, it was perfect. It answered the question truthfully without leading to other questions we didn't really want to answer at that time.

It's a line that still gets play, usually with the accusing, "you're so damn bad" shake of the head.


  1. That's funny. :) I'm sure it's a relief when they just shrug it off and move onto something else. I'm so glad I don't have kids to explain this stuff to... I'd be mortified! LOL

  2. Ah, Max... You do realise that men who can creatively think on their toes (as well as with other parts of their anatomy) are a rarity?

    Nice save. Very nice save... ;)

  3. Just last week we had the door locked for some play time. About 1/2 way through, but all the way in, we had the knock on the door. If it's our little one he doesn't notice if we are dressed or not, but our older ones are very aware that we go to bed in pajamas, so being naked is a big change. Luckily I hid under the covers "sleeping' while my wife threw on her robe and said she was "chilly." We laughed about it after D2 was back in bed, then happily finished.

  4. Years ago when my daughter was around 3 years old, she called through to us from her bedroom "When you two have finished huffing and puffing, can someone get me a drink of water please?" Cue, sheets stuffed in mouths to prevent screeches of laughter!

    She was articulate back then, even more so now LOL

  5. LOL - that WAS quick thinking!

  6. I've also had the "what's this?" stain question, with a funny answer...

    My daughter has been told she's not allowed to eat or drink while watching TV in our bed. Well, one morning she spotted a stain on the sheets and immediately declared, "I DIDN'T DO THAT!"

    No, you definitely didn't...