Tuesday, March 29, 2011

TMI Tuesday, 3/29/11

1. Who would you call for bail money?
The Sensual Goddess. I think she'd bail me out, but she probably wouldn't be happy. (Edit: after reading this, her reaction was, "Not a chance." :-))

2. Your life has been threatened unless you do one of the three following things. Which would you do? Why?
a. Do a sanctioned and well-promoted strip tease at a WWE event
b. Have sex with anyone of your choosing in a full of trash garbage dumpster
c. Star in your own Girls Gone Wild video knowing that it will be distributed, for free, in your hometown.

Odd choices. I guess we'll start filming "Max Goes Wild." Of course I'll need co-stars....

3. What is your most hated chore on your household chore list?
I wouldn't say I hate any of them. Cleaning the cat boxes isn't my favorite thing, but it has to be done.

4. Do you perform any chores in the nude? Which one(s)?
Not really. Washing up, brushing teeth, and shaving don't count as chores, do they?

5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you turn out to do that?
The first thing I can ever remember wanting to be was a trash man. I thought it was so cool that they got to ride on the back of the trash truck. Sadly, it didn't work out for me in the sanitation business.

6. One of your scars, how did you get it?
I have a thin horizontal line on my chest, an inch under the left nipple, maybe two inches long. I was a boy and it was summer. We were building a fort in the woods, and I was handling a piece of sheet metal. The corner of the sheet metal was sharp and slit my chest.

7. What is on the walls of your bedroom?
Just the standard S&M dungeon gear - chains, shackles, etc. No, not really. A couple Oriental-style prints of flowers.

8. Do you snore, grind your teeth, or talk in your sleep?
I've never been told that I snore or grind teeth. I do, apparently, talk in my sleep sometimes. Usually non-intelligible snippets.

9. What type of music do you listen to?
All kinds. I like classic rock, soft rock, blues, some new age, alternative, classical.

BONUS: Buried or cremated? Why?
I'll leave that up to my survivors. My preference would be cremation, but if that bothers my survivors, burial is fine too. After I've left my body, you can do what you like with it.

Go see Hedone at The Pleasure Principle to see who else is playing.

Friday, March 25, 2011

FFF: Kissed by the Sun

Every year my old college roommate insisted I come and stay with him for a week. I found that he'd become a bit of an arrogant know-it-all over the years, but we did share a lot of good memories from the old days, and it was no hardship to relax in his luxurious bungalow in Old Havana.

His wife swayed sensually, kissed by the sun, as he strummed his guitar. He urged me to get up and dance with her, and I smiled, downed the remainder of my mojito, and took her hand.

What the know-it-all didn't know was that I was already intimately familiar with the magical way her hips moved. He didn't know that his wife's panties were in a ball in my pocket, and that under her flowing skirt my cum was leaking out of her freshly-pounded pussy and running down her thighs. He didn't know that I would summon her later and take her again, before sending her back to him, full of my cum.

The challenge this week was: 119-187 words.
The phrase "...kissed by the sun..." must be used.
Go see Panser's Lair to see who else is participating!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

e[lust] #24

Photo Courtesy of Kitten's Toys

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #25? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Women, Swinging, and Seduction – From Meeting to Fucking in the Swinging Lifestyle: “My wife wants to drop out of swinging and instead have an open relationship…” announced a good friend of mine..

The Scent of a Woman (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love my Snatch): Years back, during a scene, I had my dominant lean in and whisper lasciviously that he could “smell my wet pussy” and I started to cry.

5 Kinky Toys from the Office Supply Store: If you’re a nerd like me, you find the idea of office supplies a little bit arousing already but Pet & I paid a recent visit with an even more focused purpose — finding the best pervertibles Staples had to offer.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Two Fantasies in One: The sexting progressed from just spanking and fingering to fingering both my holes, to slipping a butt plug in to punish me for being a naughty girl. By the time Tuesday came around we were both very horny and on edge to get together.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Ethics in Blogging: Ethics don’t always equal human kindness/respect for others. You can be a snarky, grumpy shit-stirrer but still be ethical. You can be sweet as pie on the outside and be unethical.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Being a Slut
Bush. Confession #556
Effects of Effexor
Honesty and Courtesy
Master and Slave?
My Experiences with Porn
Question Month: #1
Thoughts on Porn by Holden
What if His Is Much Larger Than Mine? – His & Hers Perspectives on Cock Size And Swinging
Wet Pussy

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Introducing the charity spanking anthology

Kink & Fetish

A Negotiated Spanking
Cuff Me to the Bed
Don't Let Go
I Want In
Sexlopedia: Edge Play
Sex as a Tool
The cute checkout girl browsed my bare cleavage
Worth The Wait

Erotic Writing

Back to the scene of the crime
blood/lust []
dirty me...
Hooray for Half Term
Honey, I'm Home
I Like Your Dream
Naughty Nurse Night At The Swingers Club
On Eating Pussy
Our Nectars
personal records
Short Dress. High Heels. Margaritas…
Sex With A Friend Part 1
Traditional Loving?
The fun of firsts
The Power of Seduction
We Begin With Talk Of Drink and Debauchery – Hazy Memories of Desire
Wet Wednesday

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Max's One Commandment

Hedone's assignment for TMI Tuesday is to write your Ten Commandments of Sex. It can be serious or humorous.

My take on this is dead serious, and when I'm king of the world, my One Commandment will be on a stone tablet, and will be the law of the land.
Everyone is responsible for their own sexual well-being. Whatever two or more consenting adults agree to in the way of sexual activity in a responsible manner is not just okay, but joyfully blessed. This is the whole of the law.

Commentary on the law:
  • Let's elaborate on "responsible manner." It means being honest with yourself and your partner, treating your partner with respect, and being disease-free. It means being aware that sex can lead to babies - and if procreation isn't the goal, then it means taking the proper precautions to prevent that.

  • No one but those consenting adults is allowed to have an opinion about what they choose to do. In other words, hold the judgment and mind your own business.

  • It's supposed to be fun. Sexual energy is the most powerful force we're likely to feel in this plane of existence, and the closest we'll get to bliss. Use this greatest of gifts in a mindful way and enjoy!

Thus spaketh Max.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Poozies: The Widow

Here's a really fun song with clever and bawdy lyrics. By The Poozies, from Raise Your Head.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Beautiful Sadness

I watch and I ponder
remembering the beautiful things
and the beautiful people
now gone and all-but-forgotten
but still alive in my mind's eye

I grieve
Memories most precious
Grateful melancholy sweetness

I stand on the shore
looking out at the water
I am the last
Silent, observing

Postscript: I'm fine, and nothing terrible has happened. I was just in a place yesterday that had a lot of memories, and was feeling melancholy over the passage of time, and the good things and good people who are now in the past.

Saturday, March 19, 2011


I've been playing with the Blogger design settings, and have settled on this look (for the moment.) I'm not crazy about it, but maybe it will grow on me.

Also, I've added an Archive page, with links to my longer fantasies and multi-part stories.

Feedback is always welcome.

Friday, March 18, 2011

FFF: Phantom

The e-mail was flattering. She loved to read my blog...looked forward to every new post with fantasies set her on fire. Then I read the last paragraph and gasped. She had a proposition. Would I like to take her? Fuck her in every nasty way I could think of? Use her however I liked, for one evening only?

Her only conditions were that I couldn't see her face, and that she set the time and place - the opera house, the opening night of Carmen, the beginning of Act II, in the basement ladies room.

I heard the orchestra launching into the entr'acte as I opened the door. She was waiting, ready. Her ass felt cool and smooth under my palm as I dropped my tuxedo pants and entered her in one long hard thrust....

The challenge this week was: 85-135 words.
The phrase " and smooth..." must be used.
Go see Panser's Lair to see who else is participating!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

TMI Tuesday, 3/15

1. How old are you?
Old enough to know better.

2. What's your favorite color?

3. First car you ever had sex in?
Not sure. Probably a little Honda hatchback. Not a lot of room, and I'm six feet tall....

4. Favorite rated R movie?
I'm drawing a blank. I'll come back and change this if one occurs to me later.

5. Favorite flavor of Popsicle?

6. Banana or apple?
Banana. It's funny, I love bananas, but hate banana-flavored things. And I like apple juice, and many things with apple as an ingredient, but not eating apples themselves.

7. Favorite Jersey shore character?
I've never seen the show, but I am familiar with some of the characters, as they're basically impossible to avoid. My favorite will be the one who goes away first.

8. Are your nails painted and if so what color?
Excuse me? I think some of these questions should be marked "ladies only."

9. Favorite animal?

10. If you could bang a Disney character who would it be?
Heh. I *despise* the Disney princesses, and feel like they're terrible images to hold up to young girls. But that's a rant for another day. Maybe Mulan or Pocahontas: women who do something instead of wait for a prince to come along and give them happily ever after. Or maybe Jane from Tarzan. Yes, I'll take Jane.

11. What time is bed time?

12. Do you have kids?

13. Last time you bought a toilet brush?
I haven't the slightest idea. Maybe never. :-)

14. Double penetration (come on I had to get one in)
Another "ladies only" question. It would be impossible for me to be on the receiving end. I've never participated on the giving end.

15. Bubble bath or long hot shower?
The hot bath is one of life's greatest pleasures. Unfortunately I don't have the time to indulge too often. You can keep the bubbles though. Unless you want to join me in the bath, then feel free to bring the bubbles.

16. Can you speak a foreign language?
Not really. I remember a lot of my high school French and can read it passably, but I couldn't have a conversation.

17. Describe yourself in 2 words?
Quiet, intense.

18. How many tattoos do you have if any?

19. How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled, or better yet, in an omelette, maybe with cheese and a little sausage. Yum....

20. How do you get rid of a hickey...I need to know.
I haven't pondered this question in many years. *Is* there a way to get rid of it? I thought you covered it up - turtlenecks or high-collared shirts.

21. Favorite color to wear.
I'm a man, I don't have one. Whatever's at the front of the closet.... :-)

Go see Hedone at The Pleasure Principle to see who else is playing.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Meeting Saucy (Part 2)

(Continued from here)

Assured that we weren't cops, we started to be approached by dancers. The Sensual Goddess found the whole experience fascinating, and we kept up a running commentary on each girl. She takes pride in being able to predict which girls I'll find attractive, and she's not often wrong. She pegged the ones I fancied, and the ones I didn't find at all attractive. We also talked about who we might want a lap dance from. We agreed on a few, and decided that the next one of those who asked, we'd accept.

One of our girls came over to ask us for a lap dance, and we asked if she would do it for both of us. For $20 (in U.S. money, at a time when U.S. dollars had a huge exchange-rate advantage), she was ours for one song. She took us back to a semi-private area with the familiar couches, and introduced herself as Saucy.

She was a hot little number, lean but with a woman's curves, probably in her middle 20's, perky B-cup breasts. She asked me who she should concentrate on, and I nodded at the Sensual Goddess. She went over the ground rules. Basically, we could touch her any place except her pussy. She motioned us to sit back, and she began to dance and gyrate.

As agreed, she concentrated on the Sensual Goddess, dancing in front of her, rubbing her body against her, offering her breasts to her. Of course, I had a great close-up view too, and it was quite erotic. I also enjoyed watching the Sensual Goddess's reaction - and she was obviously very interested in the proceedings. Watching her tentatively reach out to touch Saucy was highly erotic. Once the ice was broken, her touches became gentle and natural.

The song ended, and she asked us if we wanted another song. We did, and another $20 bill quickly changed hands. This time it was my turn.

The Sensual Goddess's later recollections are that I turned into an octopus - hands everywhere. I'm not sure about that, but Saucy came close to me, rubbed herself on me, and encouraged me to touch - and I was happy to oblige. Her breasts were small, firm, and delightful. She was quite graceful, and knew how to use her lithe body. I found it especially erotic when she brought her face close to mine and traced her lips from my cheek to my ear. I could feel her breath, and it felt intimate and exciting.

Her last move was to turn her back to me and sit on my lap. My hands reached around to squeeze her tits, and she ground her crotch against my fully-erect cock. Then, while she was still grinding, she vibrated her hips back and forth faster than anything I've ever felt. It felt like the speed of a hummingbird's wings. I'm not sure if the movement of her hips was visible, but the look on my face said that something was happening.

The song finished, and we decided against more lap dances for the moment. Saucy gave us a hug and glided away. We stayed for a while longer, then left, our curiosity satisfied.

Reviewing the events afterwards, the Sensual Goddess said it turned her on more to watch me getting a lap dance than to get one herself. She said she wished my clothes had disappeared, and wanted to see me thrust my cock into that tight little pussy. Maybe next time.

We also discussed that fluttering hip movement. We've dubbed it "The Canadian Move," as the Sensual Goddess assures me that all Canadian girls either know it instinctively from birth, or are taught it in high school gym class. I'm not so sure about that, but I do know that we had a good time in the strip club, and have fond memories of Saucy.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Meeting Saucy (Part 1)

A few years ago, during a visit to the Sensual Goddess's home and native land, we drove past a series of adult entertainment establishments (i.e., strip clubs) not far from the in-laws where we were staying. She laughed and said she'd always wondered what went on inside. I told her some of my experiences of strip bars from years ago, and added that I'd be happy to show her.

Later in the visit, we had a free evening, and I asked with a wink if she wanted to see a show? She did, and we set out to give her an education. As we drove there, she pumped me for what I knew and what I thought we could expect.

My experiences were *not* extensive, but I told her that in the U.S., things varied widely according to the local or state regulations. In some places the girls got totally nude. In others, they had to stay in thongs and have pasties over the nipples. Usually one girl would dance on a stage, and the other girls would work the crowd - coming around and doing little private dances for tips.

The tip didn't involve handing the girl money - she would usually indicate how you could give her the dollar. Sometimes you'd be asked to stuff it in her thong, or between her breasts. They would also ask if you wanted a private lap dance, or to go into a back room.

I had never gone into a back room, as that took serious money, but I had had a couple lap dances. You paid $20 and went to a semi-secluded area that had a couch with a metal railing above it. You sat on the couch and kept your hands on the bar behind you. The girl would tease you and dance in front of you for the length of one song. She could touch you, but you couldn't touch her. She could rub her tits on you, or on your face. She could grind her pussy on you, or spread her pussy and show you where god lives.

With the right girl could it could be very erotic, but I wasn't a huge fan in general, because there were plenty of girls who didn't strike me as sexy at all - not to mention those that were downright skanky. Also, I've never been able to objectify women, and I could never get out of my head that these were women who probably weren't leading the happiest lives, and whose fantasies most likely didn't include getting naked for me. So I was never a huge fan of the strip club, but it could be a fun evening with a bunch of guys, when curious or horny enough.

So we stopped at a club, parked, and nervously walked in (most of the nervousness being on the part of the Sensual Goddess.) My first surprise was no cover charge. We sat at a table and watched as a girl danced on a stage. I went to the bar and ordered two beers, and got my second surprise when the beers were normally-priced. How refreshing - a place that wasn't blatantly fleecing us.

We watched the action for probably half an hour or more. Each girl came out and danced for three songs. The first song was for removing the top or bra. The second song was for removing the panties, and the third songs was for gyrating nude. Yes, thankfully, nude. Going to a place where the girls had to keep a thong and pasties on always struck me as "what's the point?"

But half an hour turned into an hour, I was confused. We hadn't been approached by a dancer, hadn't been asked for a tip, hadn't been asked for a lap dance. We'd been pretty much treated as invisible.

The Sensual Goddess asked a passing dancer why that was. The answer floored us. They assumed we were cops!

She assured the dancer that we weren't. And then the evening changed.

(Continued here.)

Friday, March 11, 2011

Active Imagination

Here's a random sampling of nasty thoughts from a work day-trip to the big city. I just can't seem to keep my active imagination in check.
  • You, Miss Account Executive sitting across the aisle from me on the train. I'm imagining taking you into that big handicap-accessible bathroom, bending you over the sink, and fucking you from behind without mercy. I'm going to reach around and squeeze your tits and pinch your nipples through that expensive silk blouse, and I'm going to shoot such a big load into your pussy that it will be leaking out of you all day. That should give you something to think about during those long meetings.

  • You, Miss Junior Analyst, don't think I haven't noticed the lingering looks you give me during the interminable Powerpoint presentations. I'm imagining laying you down right here on the conference table and spreading you wide. I'll be keeping your panties as a souvenir. I'm imagining the sounds you'll make when I feast on your juicy pussy, and the squeals you'll make when I push my thick cock into you.

  • You, Miss Wall Street, maybe we could share a cab back to the train station. I'll guide your head down to my hard cock, then guide myself into your mouth. I'll hold your head...pushing you down as I slide my cock deeper into your mouth. Your moans and your frantic sucking will tell me you want more, and I'll be happy to give it to you. I'll thrust subtly up with my hips as my hand wraps in your hair and guides you further down, pushing my cock into your throat. I don't care if the cab driver is watching or not. No, actually, I hope he is watching. And when I unload, you'd better gulp down every drop of my cum. We don't want to mess up your expensive suit.

  • You, Miss Fashionista, let's go back to your apartment. I'll pin you against the wall inside the door and fuck you right there, standing up. After your first orgasm, I'll turn you to the wall and fuck you from behind. Without warning, I'll pull out of your dripping pussy and ever-so-slowly push my cock into your tight little back door. I'll spread your cheeks wide and thrust slowly but insistently until I'm balls-deep in your ass. Then I'll start to fuck your ass, first slowly, then picking up speed. When I finally unload in your ass, I'll roar like a bull.
Clearly it's not safe to leave me alone in the big city. There's just too much delicious trouble to be had....

FFF: Enveloped in Warmth

We'd been fooling around frantically for weeks, but she insisted that we draw the line at penetration. In her mind, that would be cheating, and I wasn't going to push her past her limits.

With her husband out of town, she invited me over for some playtime. I loved the wicked feeling of being in his place.

I knew the big walk-in bath would be trouble, and I was right. She straddled me, and we kissed and touched. Before I knew what was happening, she guided me into her hot pussy and sank down to the hilt in one fluid motion. I threw my head back and groaned in ecstasy, my entire being enveloped in warmth.

The challenge this week was: 69-119 words.
The phrase "...enveloped in warmth..." must be used.
Go see Panser's Lair to see who else is participating!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

TMI Tuesday

Once again, it's "Too Much Information Tuesday", hosted by Hedone of The Pleasure Principle. Go there to see who else is playing.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"Good morning, you handsome devil!" No, not actually. Something more like, "Good lord, look at my hair." I've had a short crewcut for a few years, and recently decided on a whim to grow it out. It's now at a length where all it will do is stick straight up. The Sensual Goddess, in one of her less tactful moments, likened me to a Chia Pet (which I'm sure she meant in a good way....) And no, no pics will be posted - or even taken, if I have anything to say about it.

2. If you could take a class for fun right now, what would you take?
Massage. I already have more interests than available time, but this is something I intend to learn at some point, and I think I'd be good at it. I've already blogged about this.

3. What did the last text message you received on your mobile/cell phone say?
"Yes, picking up pizza. xox"

4. What was the last song you listened to?
What It Is, Mark Knopfler

5. What was the last song you sang or hummed (cuz it’s stuck in your head)?
Bad Case of Loving You, Robert Palmer

6. First thing you wash in the shower?

7. When was the last time you masturbated in the shower?
It's been a while. I really can't remember. But as I've posted, the shower was my go-to place when I was a teenager.

8. What color is your couch?
Hard to describe. Plaid, I guess.

9. Have you had sex on your couch?

Monday, March 7, 2011

A Little More

There's a little more urgency. A little more intensity.

Our lovemaking is always amazing, but after the thaw, when apologies flow and love and affection reassert their primacy, it's a little...more.

Pent-up emotions surge. Our touches are a little more meaningful, our kisses a little more passionate, our cries a little more longing. My thrusts are a little harder, your moans a little louder. It's a little rawer, a little more animalistic.

When we finally collapse, the bedding is sodden and disheveled, our bodies wet and sticky.

There's nothing quite like make-up sex.

Friday, March 4, 2011

FFF: Gargoyle

It was horrible...a hideous gargoyle with ridiculous plastic breasts was straddling me...choking me. I struggled desperately to hang on.

I awoke with a sharp crack of recognition. You looked over with a sympathetic smile, then mopped my sweaty brow. "Only a dream, dear."

I smiled with relief. And then I caught a glimpse of the thin metal chain clenched in your other hand.

The challenge this week was: 40-70 words.
The phrase "...a sharp crack..." must be used.
Go see Panser's Lair to see who else is participating!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Deep Throat Judge

As an occasional viewer of videos on, I have a pet peeve (in addition to the sidebar ad I'm looking at now promising a free tip to make your cock grow four inches - seriously, does *anyone* click those?!?)

My pet peeve is the tagging of blowjob videos as "deep throat." I'm sorry, being able to take some of a cock into your throat isn't a deep throat. Being able to take *most* of a cock into your throat isn't a deep throat. It's not a deep throat unless you can completely suppress the gag reflex, open your throat, and take every inch into your throat.

If you *can* do that, it doesn't matter if the guy is six, nine, or twelve inches - you can swallow it. It's also not a deep throat if you can take all of a tiny cock, or a flaccid one. I'm sorry, it has to be *all* of a substantial, fully erect cock.

It's a rare skill, and I hate to see it cheapened by expanding the definition. But all is not lost, I'm willing to use my expertise to help end the confusion. Effective immediately, I'm appointing myself the judge of what's a deep throat, and what's not.

Here some examples of my judgments:
  • This is *not* a deep throat. She tries, and I'm sure what she's doing feels great - just don't call it a deep throat.

  • This is also not one. She comes very close. But in a true deep throat, you can wrap your lips around the very base and press your nose into his belly. She can't do that - so I'm sorry, but the answer is no.

  • No, not even close, though I will say that's my kind of picnic!
Here is the real deal. This is also a resounding yes, featuring one of my favorite porn stars from back in the day, Little Oral Annie (I know, I know, ridiculous name.) And finally, here's a yes from YouTube (with a banana - and the look on the guy's face is priceless.)

I'm happy to serve as your judge, and I think this new system will reduce much of the confusion over what is and isn't a deep throat. Please feel free to contact me with any questions.

Your humble servant,