Thursday, November 11, 2010

Property and Bad Words

(Continuation of thoughts that started here.)

If we eliminate the idea of people as property, what are we left with? Every individual as a free agent, who can decide who they want to be with, live with, be intimate with. Those who want exclusivity are welcome to choose that. Those who need other arrangements are welcome to choose that. All that's required is complete honesty.

The idea of jealousy has to go, of course, and that's a significant hurdle. But that's an idea rooted in possessiveness and ownership. I don't own you, so you're welcome and encouraged to to what makes you happy. We all are.

If we say that the root emotion behind relationships is love, then shouldn't I want you to have the experiences you feel you need? If I don't want that, it sounds like we're talking about control, possession, and fear - not love.

Once we start thinking this way, some bad words disappear from the language.
"Unfaithful": there's no such thing. Whatever you're doing is, by definition, being faithful to yourself.

"Cheating": also no such thing. You decide on the experiences you want, as you don't belong to anyone else.

"Adultery": another concept based in human ownership.

"Vows": this concept has to stop or change form, as we have to realize that we can't promise how we're going to feel tomorrow. You can't make a promise today and have both people assume it's good forever after - the process of reevaluation has to be ongoing.

"Guilt": there's no reason to feel guilty, you're doing what you feel you need to do, which is perfectly natural and acceptable.

"Shame": as with guilt, there's no need to feel this way. Enjoy your sexuality, revel in it.
If you treat everyone in your life with honesty and integrity, I don't see how this wouldn't work, and how there wouldn't be a quantum leap in happiness for everyone, and for society as a whole.

Of course I'm playing devil's advocate here, and am well aware that this would be a huge leap in consciousness for a lot of people - but I really do believe that it would be a better way.

(Continued here)


  1. Again, this is interesting. My mind is going a 100 miles per hour!!

  2. We all need a huge leap in consciousness in general. You are correct about all this of course. It is simple but it isn't easy.

  3. I really couldn't agree more! Society, in general, would be a better, happier place if we were able to be free...with ourselves, our significant others, and everyone else.

    I really like how you point out how by constraining ourselves to society-defined monogamy, it's really like basing our relationships on fear and not love. Very poignant.

    I also love how all the words would just fall away. Wouldn't that be wonderful?!