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Monday, December 14, 2015

OKCupid Profile

(Continued from "The Search Begins", where the Sensual Goddess and I agreed to begin a slow and careful search for playmates for me.)

We created an account on OKCupid and began wrestling with what to say in my profile. Goal #1 was to be vague enough that I wouldn't be recognized by any of SG's single friends. While we're clear and comfortable with what we're doing, we'd rather not be "outed" and put SG into the uncomfortable position of having to explain what isn't anyone's business but ours.

On the other hand, staying too vague would result in an uninteresting profile. In the end, just to get something posted, I came up with a fairly plain vanilla summary, identifying myself as a polyamorous professional man here with my partner's blessing, looking for a like-minded woman. We skipped adding a pic of me, ignoring the multiple warnings that a profile without a pic would be dismissed by the matching algorithms to the lowest circle of hell. We'd think more about that later.

Now, with a bare-bones profile up, we could browse other people's profiles. This was fascinating, and great entertainment for both of us. Neither of us had ever been on any kind of dating site before, and we spent a lot of time poring over profiles and noting who was looking for what - not even looking for matches for me, just taking it all in.

Once we'd satisfied some of our initial curiosity, we started looking for potential matches for me. It quickly became evident that the overwhelming majority of women there are single and looking for a monogamous relationship. I hope they all find that - but how do I look for non-monogamous ladies looking for something in addition to their main relationship?

It wasn't immediately obvious, but I finally found the search criteria where I could search for women within a mileage range who identified as "non-monogamous". That filtered the flood of ladies into a small handful. But that's okay, those are my potential matches. We looked them over...not too promising a start. Some seemed emotionally damaged, and a couple looked just plain scary (I think SG burst out laughing and said "she'd hurt you!" I was thinking the same thought.)

But there were a couple who were attractive, not *too* far away, and seemed to be looking for the same things as me. I thought about sending a few messages. But no, not yet. I have to get my profile in better shape first....

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