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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

TMI Tuesday: Fun(ny) Stuff

This week's TMI Tuesday theme is a culmination of weird, funny, and odd questions I have heard over the last month. They were crazy enough so I though they’d be perfect for TMI Tuesday.

1. Finish this thought: Nerds make me realize I'm one of them. (idea from PocketRockettz)

2. If you were in a beauty pageant, which would be your ticket to the tiara? (heard on the Newlywed Game)
a. Talent
b. Interview
c. Swimsuit
d. Evening wear (i.e., gown, tuxedo)
Hmmmm...tough question. It could be the interview...I am fairly quick on my feet verbally. Evening wear is also a possibility - I've been told that I have the body type (long and lean) that looks good in a suit or tux. But I think I'll have to go with talent. I'm a world-class multi-tasker (scary, according to the Sensual Goddess), and when the committee sees the video of me reading blogs, writing blog entries, surfing the web, daydreaming all kinds of nastiness, and actually being productive at work simultaneously, I think their jaws will drop.

3. On your body what is eye candy and what is an eyesore?
I've gotten nice comments on my legs.

According to all the ladies in my house, my hair is uncontrollable, and a major problem. I now have some idea of what big-breasted women must feel when guys talk to their chest. I sit down to breakfast, and as they're talking to me, their eyes leave my face and move upwards, with looks ranging from astonishment to horror. I interrupt and ask them to bring their gaze back down to my face. :-)

4. Your penis is starring in a gritty crime drama? Which part would it play?
a. Straight laced detective
b. Hooded criminal
c. Crooked cop
Of these three choices, the only role I could play is "straight-laced detective." Maybe there's another choice, d) shady character, more to him than meets the eye initially, not certain if he's a good guy or a bad guy....  :-)

5. Would you rather? (as heard on the Graham Norton Show)
a. Eat dog food for every meal for a year or
b. Get shot in the knee
I'm sorry, but I'm not choosing either of these. If someone has the power to inflict either of them on me, then I'll manage the best I can, but I'm not undergoing either one by choice.

6. If you crapped yourself at work what would you do? (This was a poll taken at a blues bar…seriously)
a. Go commando
b. Do nothing
c. Turn ‘em inside out
d. Wash in employee sink
Seriously? I crapped myself at work?!? I'll have to add choice e) go straight to the doctor. Because if I've lost control of my bodily functions, there's something seriously wrong.

And if my answers to these last three questions give you the impression that I'm not good at playing by others' arbitrary rules...well, you might be onto something.... :-)


Go to TMI Tuesday to see who else is playing.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the U.S., and I'd like to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving, whether you're celebrating today or not.

I'm very much aware that I'm surrounded by blessings, and there's a lot of love in my life. I have much to be grateful for, and I am grateful.

Yes, there will be a big traditional turkey dinner today, and I'll eat my share (or maybe a little bit more), and the wine will flow. I will drink a silent toast of gratitude to the blogger community and the beautiful people I feel I've gotten to know in some small way.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Pearls

You have me in a carnal frenzy. I'm not aware of the tangle of blankets and sheets ripped out and thrown to the side, or of the pillows that I've tossed on the floor. I'm only aware of you underneath me, legs splayed wide, eyes wide and frantic and locked on mine.

What started as lovemaking is now animalistic fucking. I'm thrusting as hard as I can...pounding your pussy hard enough to make delicious squishing noises...our hips slamming together. I've long-since lost count of your orgasms, but I can feel mine approaching, and I want it badly.

I grunt that I'm about to cum, and you answer me with a high-pitched groan that I know means you want my load. A few final savage thrusts, and I can feel it starting...I can feel my balls tighten and my orgasm rising.

It takes all my willpower to not stay inside you, but I know I can't - and I also want to cum *on* you. I pull out, grabbing my slippery cock with one hand and aiming at your belly. I can feel the spurts shooting out powerfully and I know I'm spraying you...coating you with my seed.

My climax starts to subside, and I fall to the side, wrapping you in my arms. Looking down, I see a trail of white pearls starting at your belly and leading all the way up between your breasts almost to your throat. With a smile, I see you gather a pearl on your finger and bring it to your mouth.

I turn your head to me for a slow, deep kiss.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

"Righteous"

At the risk of sounding like a curmudgeonly old man, I can remember when the only way to see a musician play was to wait for them to come to my town, buy a ticket, and go see the show. Through the miracle of YouTube, I can now see just about anyone I want without leaving my fortress of solitude. And when I stop to think about it, that's pretty amazing - and I spend more time than I probably should watching concert footage of a wide variety of bands and artists.

For my Saturday "dash of happy", I'll pick Eric's Johnson's "Righteous". He's an amazingly-talented guitar player - and as someone who occasionally picks up a guitar, watching someone of this caliber partly inspires me, and partly makes me feel like I have five thumbs on each hand. It mostly inspires me. And makes me very happy to be able to watch such talent.

Addendum: if you like this clip of Eric Johnson, check out his cover of Jimi Hendrix's "Are You Experienced?", from the same concert.

Happy Saturday!

Friday, November 18, 2011

FFF: Illusions

(Source image: "Monday" by Darren Hopes)
I kept my attention focused on my breath, as I'd been trained to do. As the breath slowly came to a stop, I felt the body that had been mine fall away. I passed through a state of pure white light, which slowly resolved into a room. Which contained a nearly-naked redhead.

I recognized the illusion. This had to be the second bardo, where souls awaiting rebirth can choose to experience sensual pleasures that were dear to them in their last incarnation. The redhead smiled at me, and a cat purred and rubbed against my leg. Would I move on to higher realms, or stay here for a while?

The redhead gave me a shy smile and opened her legs. I knew the choice was mine. I smiled and gave a resigned shrug, thinking, "heaven can wait."



The challenge this week was: 86-136 words.
The word "...resigned..." must be used.
Go see Panser's Lair to see who else is participating!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

TMI Tuesday: Formspring Follies

Today's TMI Tuesday consist of Formspring questions pulled from around the Web. The NY Times called Formspring "An E-vite to Insults and Crude Queries." I admit, I pulled the tame, less crude questions.

1. What is your favorite type of weather?
A bright, sunny, cool, fall day.

2. How do you sustain the motivation and energy needed to write erotica regularly?
Recently, I haven't been able to sustain it. I used to post long multi-part erotic fantasies, and I realize I haven't done that in a while. I enjoy writing those, but they take a lot of time and energy, and I haven't been able to find either. If I find an idea that charges me, I'll write erotica again.

3. Do you like roleplay? What is your favorite scenario?
I like the idea of it. But in the heat of the moment, I usually can't help being *me*. :-) For many years, I had an overwhelmingly favorite scenario - the older, more-experienced woman seducing me and teaching me how to make love to a woman. I'm kinda sad to realize I've outgrown this fantasy.

4. Have you ever been hurt so badly in a past relationship, that it has affected you for the rest of your life?
I've been hurt badly (hasn't everyone?) - the kind of hurt where I remember thinking that physical pain would have been far preferable - but it never scarred me permanently. No matter how badly things hurt, I never doubted that I was worthwhile and lovable.

5. What message would you want to put in a fortune cookie?
Remember that you have much to be grateful for.

6. How big is your dick?
Hahaha.... Big enough. :-)

Bonus: I would like to know, do you have Formspring on your blog? Why or why not?
No. Because I don't think anyone would ask anything. And if anyone is dying to ask me something, my e-mail address is in my profile.


Go to TMI Tuesday to see who else is playing.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Monday Miscellaneous

A few semi-random notes on a Monday morning:

* The new edition of e[lust] is out, and I'm thrilled to see that my entry made the "top three" posts.

* I've made some subtle changes to my blog layout, and am considering more substantial changes. I noticed a "Song of the Day" or "Now Playing" widget on some blogs, with a YouTube link to a song. I like that a lot, and have added it to the top right. I'll change the song every few days.

* "Love Your Lurkers Day" was last Thursday, and I let it go without a post. I couldn't think of much to say about it that I didn't say last year on LYL Day. I have mixed thoughts on the subject - of course I'm grateful that people read what I write here, but I do wish that regular lurkers would leave comments, or just say hi.

Happy Monday!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

e[lust] #31

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #32 ? Start with the rules, come back in January to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

A Feminist Defense of Consensual Nonconsent - How does a woman who identifies as a feminist reconcile her desire to submit to her partner during sex? Being somewhat new to kink, I had some trepidations about how submission seemingly went against my ethics.

Intimates - As the evening drew on, I felt like the sexiest woman alive. It’s strange to describe it this way, but I actually felt brimming with a sort of sexual energy. A lustiness, a sexiness, an allure and a desire all at once.

Tightest Space - I'm paying close attention to your moans, and I stop whenever it feels like it might be too much. But the incredibly tight feeling of your ass gripping my cock is so delicious that I need to get all the way in.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

An Open Letter to the Sex Toy Industry - I write this post not to just let off some steam but with the smallest glimmer of hope that maybe…….just maybe….some of these words will land on the right computer screen and be taken to heart. Maybe one change will happen.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

International #Fisting Day!! - Beyond awareness and calling for action, I think International Fisting Day is a great day to celebrate fisting; an intimate, hugely erotic and often orgasmic act that doesn’t get the recognition it deserves.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Bit about Crushes
Are You on the Pill?
How to Approach Your Partner with a Fantasy
Meeting New People
Sex And Disability: What Does the Literature Say?
Settling – Striving For Connections in Non-Monogamy
Sex and Heart Attacks
Training my rear end

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Getting Past The Word 'Slut'
Private Pictures
The Fetish Fashion of l'Enfant Terrible

Kink & Fetish

Enough is Enough
Hands
In his hands the vibe was intensity personified
Live Well
Public Exposure: The Third Birthday Fantasy
Rope
Scammers come in different flavours
When Submission is a Dry Biscuit

Erotic Writing

A contrast in swinging
A Frightened Heart
6-Some Fun
Bent
Come Again
Emily
Her First Time
In the Bathroom
Move
treat

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Another Saucy (Part 2)

(Continued from here)

I can't remember the redhead's "name", but it was something ridiculous like Bubbles or Brandi. She took us to the private lap dance area, and asked which one of us she should concentrate on. We pointed at each other, and the Sensual Goddess insisted that she wanted to watch me get the lap dance. We asked about the ground-rules, and were told that the only thng not allowed was touching the pussy.

When the next song started, Bubbles got on my lap and gyrated - and it wasn't erotic at all. She wasn't into it, and I wasn't into it. Yes, she was an attractive girl, and yes, she was soft in all the right places, but it just didn't work. When the song ended, we thanked her and went back to our table.

We watched some more of the proceedings, and SG asked me if I was going to get another lap dance. I was ready to suggest we get out of there, when I spotted the big-breasted blonde we had noticed earlier in the evening. I thought if I could meet her eye, we'd get a lap dance, otherwise we'd call it a night. Sure enough, she walked toward us - I caught her eye and smiled, and she smiled back. I asked about a lap dance, and she was happy to oblige.

She led us to the private area, and was engaged, smiling, and friendly. She chatted happily with both of us as we waited for the next song to begin, and SG was giving me excited looks, as if to say, "Now *this* is what we came here for!" She explained the same ground rules, then asked SG if *she* had any rules. She smiled and nodded "no."

The next song started and she gave me a lap dance to remember. She writhed on me, ground against me, and pressed her body into mine from every possible angle. She put herself in position for me to touch her, and she felt fantastic. She was pretty as well as shapely, and she made delicious eye contact with me as she straddled and dry-humped me. It was connected and arousing - I didn't mistake it for real emotional connection or real passion, I know very well that she was doing it for the money we paid her - but if there isn't some semblance of a connection, I'm simply not interested.

The song ended, and when I looked over at SG, she was all smiles. When asked if we wanted to continue for another song, we both nodded eagerly. The second song was the same as the first, only more so. She asked SG, who was sitting very close, to touch her as she writhed on me, and her tentative touches were very cute. SG asked her if we could bring her home with us, and she laughed.

The song came to an end, and this time I answered "no, thanks" to the question of whether we wanted to continue for another song. She gave me a warm hug, then we went back to our table. It was fun, but I'm a cheap bastard thrifty soul at heart, and $20 per song is too steep a price to do more than a few times. I was happy, and SG was thrilled. She said watching her writhe on me was very arousing, and that she would have been happy to stay for more songs.

Back to our table, we realized that we never asked her name. Not that it mattered - we've dubbed all strippers "Saucy", after our first fun encounter. And we agreed that this one was the best Saucy yet.

SG's final word on the evening: "I think I know what you want more than you do. I knew the minute I saw that blonde that she was the one. Next time I'm just going to tell you to go back to the private area, and I'll pick out a girl and bring her back to give you a lap dance."

If she insists.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Another Saucy (Part 1)

My last post mentioned a weekend trip to help an ailing family member. I'm now home again after a long weekend of a lot of driving and a lot of hard work. We feel good that we did what had to be done - and there was also some time for fun and games.

The Sensual Goddess, no doubt realizing that all work and no play makes Max a dull boy (or maybe a cranky boy), reminded me of our adventures with a stripper named Saucy on a previous visit to her home and native land. With some free time Saturday night, she asked if going to find another Saucy and getting a lap dance would be sufficient payment for my hard work. I conceded that it would be a start.

She then surprised me by asking if I didn't have some blogger friends near where we were, and did I want to ask them to meet us? Sadly, it didn't work out, but that was a generous offer on her part, and it would have been nice to meet a blogger friend and have a drink.

We did a little Internet research on nearby strip clubs, settled on one, and found it with no trouble. It was set back in an industrial park and garishly lit in neon on the outside. We went inside and found it busy, though not packed. We found a table for two well back from the stage, ordered a beer, and took in our surroundings.

There was a large stage up front, with mirrors behind it, and a brass pole in front. There was loud thumping music to accompany the dancer, though thankfully not so loud as to prevent conversation. There were big flat-screen televisions on each side of the stage. The one on the left was showing porn. Giving away the country we were in, the TV on the right had ice hockey on.

Girls danced on the stage for three songs. They typically started in lingerie, bared their breasts during the second song, and showed their pussy during the third. The girls who weren't on stage walked around and mingled with the crowd, trying to get takers for private lap dances or to go to the VIP room.

The Sensual Goddess kept up a very funny running commentary on the girls, and the other patrons. Her first comment was, "These girls are going to love you. You smell good, and some of the guys who have walked past our table don't." Some of her other highlights: watching a very petite dancer, "I don't think so...you'd hurt her." Looking at a big rough-looking girl, "No, I think she'd hurt you." (I was thinking the same thought!)

As we watched the dancers and the scene, I really wasn't turned on at all. We watched the girls on stage with academic interest, discussing how they looked and how they moved. It occurred to me that just the sight of a naked female body would have turned me on a lot years ago. Don't get me wrong, it's still a lovely sight, but that alone isn't enough any more.

The porn on TV couldn't have been less arousing - it could have been goats mating for all it was doing for me. It was just body parts sliding together - no emotion, no connection - just empty. I'd rather watch the hockey game.

At one point, a big-breasted blonde walked past, and the Sensual Goddess said ,"Yep, there's the one for you." I didn't disagree, but then we didn't see her again. SG was asking when I was going to get a lap dance, so when a tall slim girl with long red hair asked if we wanted a lap dance, I said "sure."

(Continued here)

Saturday, November 5, 2011

"Rockin' Down the Highway"

I was thinking about a "dash of happy" song for today, and my first thought was "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band", as a clever(?) follow-up to my Twenty Years Ago Today post. And that is a happy song - but I decided on something else.

I'll be spending many many hours this weekend driving, in order to help some family members who really need the help. There will almost certainly be some time for a nice meal and some laughs with some wonderful in-laws. But there's going to be a whole lot of time on the road, and a lot of hard work to do in a short time while there.

There are a lot of good happy road songs, but the one that's in my head now is The Doobie Brothers' "Rocking' Down the Highway".
Got those highway blues, can't you hear my motor runnin'
Flyin' down the road with my foot on the floor
Yep, that'll be me, flyin' down the road with my foot on the floor. :-)

Happy Saturday!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Twenty Years Ago Today

No, this has nothing to do with Sgt. Pepper. I realized recently that the date was sticking in my head...that something had happened that I should remember. And then it hit me - it was the anniversary of my first marriage. And not only the anniversary, but twenty years. Wow, that's a long time.

The realization brought up memories, both sad and happy. Sad, obviously, because of how the relationship and the marriage ended. In hindsight, I realize that I went into it hopelessly innocent and naive. It was my first real relationship, and I see now that I was trying to follow in my parents' footsteps...young, full of high hopes and good intentions, and blissfully unaware of the rough road ahead. But while I'm sad about how it ended, I've long since stopped beating myself up - maybe I didn't always handle things as skillfully as I could have, but I tried my honest best.

But there are also memories from that day that still make me smile. And that have nothing to do with my ex-wife.

The wedding was a standard formal wedding - a church ceremony in the afternoon, followed by a reception at a hotel banquet hall. When the reception ended, people were still in a charged up and celebrating, so we continued the evening in the hotel bar. The drinks were flowing, and everyone was dancing, and I became aware that my new wife's girlfriends and co-workers were looking at me in a way I had never been looked at before - with undisguised lust.

The realization hit me like a bolt of electricity - that these hot young things were looking at *me* that way. I guess the day had gone so well that they were imagining themselves as brides, and I guess I looked pretty good as a bridegroom. Whatever the case, I had a few drinks in me by that point, and was having decidedly non-faithful thoughts just hours into my new marriage.

Of course I didn't follow up on any of the smoldering looks being flashed my way. I was Mr. Straight-and-Narrow in those innocent days - my imagination was as wicked as ever, but I don't think there was any possible way I would have acted on my wicked thoughts - on any night, let alone my wedding night!

I look back on that night with a smile as probably the high-water-mark of my desirability as a man - the one night in my life when I had a roomful of hotties wishing they were the one with me. I don't say that with any bitterness - I'm infinitely more comfortable with who I am now, and wouldn't go back there for all the money in the world. But I'll admit I had many a fantasy of how I might have taken advantage of things that night. It's a fun memory.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

TMI Tuesday: Let's Talk About Sex

1. What sexual act arouses you the most? For that matter, what nonsexual act arouses you the most?
There's no question - kissing. I'm sure I've blogged about this before. I love everything about kissing - it's intimate, it's connected, and it's delicious. There's so much communication possible in a kiss. I find it *highly* arousing, either as a preliminary to other things, or as an end in itself. For a non-sexual act, I would say dancing, or any kind of sensual body movement.

2. What is your signature or "go to" move that is sure to get a lover in the mood for sex?
I definitely don't have a signature move. But if I'm trying to suggest something, or set the mood, it would be through touch. I'm very sensitive to touch, both touching and being touched, and I'm very tactile with those I'm close to. And I don't mean in a mauling/groping way. But if we're together, I'll take little opportunities to touch you. As with kissing, I find it intimate and connected, and there's also a lot of communication that can be exchanged through little touches.

3. Do you queef?
I don't (and couldn't), but I think every partner I've ever been with has. I don't see how you can avoid it. Lovemaking just pushes air in there, so it has to work its way out. Not a big deal (though I might make a joke about it, depending on the circumstances. :-))

4. What's the weirdest thing that's happened to YOU as a result of your sex writings (e.g., blog, erotica, sex toy reviews)? (borrowed from Insatiabear)
I'm drawing a blank on this one.... I can't think of anything weird that's happened. This blog has been a 100% positive experience. I've gotten to know, in some very small way, some really beautiful people in the blogger community. No weirdness...yet.

5. Have you ever had sex while someone watched?
...someone else was in the room?
...someone else in the bed, next to you and the person you’re having sex with?
What were the circumstances?
Yes, yes, and yes. I've blogged a little about the handful of times the Sensual Goddess and I went to a sex club in the nearby big city. Those posts are tagged "The Club". That was a few years ago, and we never investigated whether there are other options after that club was closed down by the city. We never participated with anyone else - we did a lot of watching (which was *fantastic*). There are still erotic visions dancing in my head from those nights.

6. When it comes to sex, and discussing it with your teen have you or would you:
a. Let school sex education handle it
b. Hand the teen a book or point them to a website
c. Talk frankly and openly
d. Avoid it all together–society, friends, and the internet will give all the info needed
a, b, and c.

Click Here, it's important.

Bonus: Remember the song, "I'm too sexy?" CLICK to refresh your memory
What are you too sexy for?
Well, rather than give my own opinion, I'll defer to the young ladies in my house. Recently they saw a quiz on rating a man in one of their magazines, and with much laughter applied the quiz to me. To everyone's howling amusement, the quiz results pegged me as "undateable, and pretty much hopeless." By the standards of that magazine, I hoped for nothing less. :-)


Go to TMI Tuesday to see who else is playing.