"I would rather officiate at a funeral than a wedding. Funerals have none of the completely unrealistic expectations that I see in weddings."
-- Facebook conversation (paraphrased as best as I can remember) with a high school classmate of mine who's now a Methodist minister
big family wedding. I'm tired today after the long drive yesterday, but overall it was a lot of fun, and nice to get away over the long weekend. My in-laws are delightful people, and it's always a pleasure to stay with them. They make us feel completely at home, and we always share a lot of laughs.
The wedding itself was beautiful - possibly the most beautiful I've ever attended. It was outdoors, in a little wooded ampitheather, and the weather was perfect - sunny, pleasant, blue skies.
The reception was as expected - good food and drink, and as much as you wanted. Sadly, I have no really juicy stories - I was the subject of some playful flirting, but I also had two lovely young ladies who were acting as my chaperones. There was plenty of dancing, and with considerable effort I got both of my chaperones out on the dance floor with me.
But going back to the quote at the top of this post - unrealistic expectations was all I could think about during the ceremony. The very explicit message to the bride and groom was "you now have your domestic partner, sexual partner, confidant, and best friend - for the rest of your lives." By implication, that means that no one else is allowed to fill any of these roles, ever. I could not help thinking that these expectations are only met in fairy tales.
I'll be accused of being jaded and cynical (from within my own house, if from nowhere else), but I don't think I am - I'm just observing the world around me. And my observation is that two people, no matter how well-intentioned, cannot possibly be all those things to each other. People have different needs - and they change and grow. What a tragedy to label anything off of an impossibly narrow path as "forbidden" and "bad."
I wish the young couple every happiness, and life seems very good for them at the moment. I foresee some possibly rude awakenings for them, but I hope they can treat each other with love and compassion as they grow and change.