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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Deep Throat Judge

As an occasional viewer of videos on XVideos.com, I have a pet peeve (in addition to the sidebar ad I'm looking at now promising a free tip to make your cock grow four inches - seriously, does *anyone* click those?!?)

My pet peeve is the tagging of blowjob videos as "deep throat." I'm sorry, being able to take some of a cock into your throat isn't a deep throat. Being able to take *most* of a cock into your throat isn't a deep throat. It's not a deep throat unless you can completely suppress the gag reflex, open your throat, and take every inch into your throat.

If you *can* do that, it doesn't matter if the guy is six, nine, or twelve inches - you can swallow it. It's also not a deep throat if you can take all of a tiny cock, or a flaccid one. I'm sorry, it has to be *all* of a substantial, fully erect cock.

It's a rare skill, and I hate to see it cheapened by expanding the definition. But all is not lost, I'm willing to use my expertise to help end the confusion. Effective immediately, I'm appointing myself the judge of what's a deep throat, and what's not.

Here some examples of my judgments:
  • This is *not* a deep throat. She tries, and I'm sure what she's doing feels great - just don't call it a deep throat.

  • This is also not one. She comes very close. But in a true deep throat, you can wrap your lips around the very base and press your nose into his belly. She can't do that - so I'm sorry, but the answer is no.

  • No, not even close, though I will say that's my kind of picnic!
Here is the real deal. This is also a resounding yes, featuring one of my favorite porn stars from back in the day, Little Oral Annie (I know, I know, ridiculous name.) And finally, here's a yes from YouTube (with a banana - and the look on the guy's face is priceless.)

I'm happy to serve as your judge, and I think this new system will reduce much of the confusion over what is and isn't a deep throat. Please feel free to contact me with any questions.

Your humble servant,
Max

10 comments:

  1. chuckles @ that's your kind of picnic!

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  2. That youtube video!! Oh my!! xD

    You know what that guy's asking for tonight!!

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  3. Question: have you ever been deep throated? If yes, how does it feel? :)

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  4. I always laugh at those deep throat clips where the guys is about 4", I'm pretty sure any women could "deep throat" that!

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  5. Hmmm. Personally, I don't care much if I have that "skill" or not (obviously I don't have it by your standards!!! LOL).

    If a guy asks me on a date if I can deepthroat, I'm going to have serious questions about what is important to him. It's just icing on the cake, imo.

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  6. I agree with, and appreciate your analysis. Now do 300 words to compare and contrast Jenna Haze and Jenna Jameson. Homework due by Tuesday.
    :-)

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  7. The one you call the "real deal" seriously made me laugh when after he spurted in her eye and went back in her mouth, he starting saying how he was cumming. Um. Pretty obvious at that point. :)

    After seeing your approved deepthroat videos, I think I can still safely say this is a skill I possess. Wanna be the judge? ;)

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  8. Oh my...I'm so happy someone cleared it up! I've only done it once...very intoxicated, hence relaxed..and no gag reflex. The guy was a good 9 inches...not exaggerating. I leaned over the bed, head back off the edge, him over me of course. Yup...slowly it went all the way in...and I was squeezing it even! Lol. Don't think I could do it sober...too much of a reflex still. Can do fairly well for a short dip...but not a long time. :)

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  9. Max is right on. Heather is one of the best deep throat girls.
    Her technique is to bring him to orgasm then go right down on him after his first squirt.
    She lets you see that yes, he is cumming, and then she takes his dick right down her throat. Fantastic. His cum would go right into her stomach.

    I love to deep throat but not yet perfected getting him to cum down my throat as of course you have to hold your breath and time it just right so you don't choke.

    A 'real' deep throat is where his dick has to bend to get passed the bend in your neck. The last gag point is a good 5 inches down your throat, it feels like the cock is going to go into your stomach but it doesn't. And yes, your face is pressed up against his belly at that point! Once you get used to that sensation it's so erotic...

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  10. *giggle* to Green Eyed Frenchy's comment.

    As for the guy in the youtube video. Yes, his look of shock was probably because that's his girlfriend and she's never done that to him. LOL

    So my dear Max, where do I sign up for lessons? You are giving lessons, correct? Then you'll judge me on my technique having had first-hand knowledge. :)

    -H

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