Pages

Friday, September 26, 2014

FFF: Last Day


She was the last one to come see me in my office, after everyone else had gone.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make the going-away lunch, but the teleconference with London just wouldn't end. And now that you're leaving, you selfish asshole, I'll have to handle all of the European clients on my own."

She said it with a wink, and I laughed. "You stopped by just to call me names on my last day?"

"No, I came by for a better reason." Her eyes twinkled. "I came by to give you your going away present."

I shouldn't have been surprised. She was sweet and thoughtful and a good friend. She saw me look around and smiled. "You're right, I don't have a box, do I?" She paused. "This is a gift that doesn't come in a box."

She paused again, letting the anticipation build. I admit, I was curious, as she was obviously building up to something.

"Remember the Christmas party last year?"

Last year's Christmas party? Hmmm...I think I remembered most of it. At least the part before the third Scotch.

"You remember our conversation at the bar? Late in the evening?"

"You're going to have to refresh my memory."

"We were talking about the rumor that the two new girls in marketing were...adventurous. And you said...."

It all came back to me in a flash. "I said, 'What I wouldn't give to see that!'"

She laughed triumphantly. "You have a good memory. Now sit back and enjoy."


(249 words)


Dedicated to Advizor, on his last day of hosting Flash Fiction Friday. His efforts have been much appreciated, and I hope his last day at the FFF offices went exactly like this!


The challenge this week was:

Word Limit: 369 (check)
Key Words: third wheel (oops)
Forbidden Words: lesbian, hooker, prostitute, money, executive (check)

Go see Advizor to see who else is participating.

Friday, September 5, 2014

FFF: Aftermath


She sighed as she put her business suit back on. "I wasn't planning on staying over, or I would have brought a change of clothes." She paused, then laughed. "And it's Saturday...this is feeling more like a walk of shame."

"Don't be silly. Please don't tell me you have regrets. It just felt right...and it was pretty goddamned amazing, don't you think?"

Giggles. "Yes, it was. But now you'd better get in the shower. You look so inviting in black, you'd better get in there, or I'm going to change my mind and come back to bed for another round."

"Shower.... Yes, I guess I should." She winked. "But maybe I want you to come back to bed with me. Besides, he's still in there."

I opened the bathroom door and walked out, towel wrapped around my waist. "Did I hear that someone wants in the shower? You should have just come in and joined me. Or you both should have joined me - there's plenty of room."

Red smiled and shook her head. "She needs to get in there. And I really do have to get going."

I nodded. "Maybe we could do this again next Friday night...."

She raised an eyebrow at me, but smiled. "Let's see what the aftermath of this is first. My husband may be a hopeless drunk, but he is the president of the company."

"I understand. But promise you'll consider it."

She kissed me as she headed for the door. "I'll definitely consider it."

(250 words)


Aside: when the Sensual Goddess reads this, she's going to cock an eyebrow at me, shake her head, and say something like, "You crack me up. You always write yourself into these stories, and you're always this suave James Bond-like character." And maybe she's right. But it's my blog, and I can be a suave James Bond-like character if I want. :-)


The challenge this week was:

Word Limit: 250 (check)
Key Words: aftermath, regrets (check)
Forbidden Words: BFF, girlfriend (check)
Extra Credit: Tell us about your work-place indiscretions. (Sadly, I don't really have any. I have written a workplace fantasy that's based on a real person I worked with, here.)

Go see Advizor to see who else is participating.

Friday, August 1, 2014

FFF: Too Young


"I'm sorry, I can't do this. You're just too young."

"Too young? Really?"

"I'm sorry. You seem nice. Maybe under other circumstances. But it just wouldn't feel right."

She sighed. Our webcams were both on, and even though I could only see her face, I couldn't deny that I wanted to see more. Was she really naked from the waist up? There was a tantalizing hint that she might be. I could feel my cock stirring. Damn....

An idea popped into my head. I jumped up and asked her to stay online, that I'd be back in a minute. She laughed and said she'd stay.

I rushed back as quickly as I could, and sat down in front of my webcam. She looked at me, did a double-take, and laughed out loud. A quick application of talcum powder in my hair made my black hair mostly white. I had a pair of thick glasses on, and I made my voice quaver when I spoke.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I just sent my whippersnapper son to his room. The idiot thought your ad looking for a mature man meant him. I knew all along you were really looking for someone more like me."

It was my only chance. She smiled, which was a good sign - and didn't log off, which was an even better sign. But she still looked doubtful. I told myself to stay in character...keep her smiling.

"Don't worry, dear, I'm as old as Methuselah." And that's exactly how old I felt looking at her. But if she wanted to show her sweet little body off to an old man, I'd try my best to be that old man.

"Now be a sweetheart and move your webcam down."

She paused. Then finally, "Okay. We can both pretend you're the mature man I advertised for." She slowly panned down. Holy smokes...she was stunning...perfect.

I panned down with my webcam. She looked, then stopped and frowned.

"That's not an old man's cock." Poof, she was gone.

Goddammit. Ah well, the vision of her hot little body was burned into my brain.

(350 words)



The challenge this week was:

Word Limit: 350 (check)
Forbidden Words: money, regret (check)
Extra Credit:  Tell us if you've ever paid for sex, on-line or off (Yes, I have, once in my life. And I've already blogged about it, here.)

Go see Advizor to see who else is participating.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

What is Your Sexy Song?

Simplicity asks the question, in her blog post of today, "What is your sexy song?"

Interesting question, and I have an immediate answer. It's not a song that exactly puts me in the mood - but it has very strong sexual connotations for me.

I've written of my first time, and I mention at the end that "I slunk home, half mortified but also half exultant that I was no longer a virgin." On that drive home, I had the radio on and was mentally thanking every god I had ever prayed to for help in losing my virginity. And now (thank goodness!) I could finally honestly say that I wasn't a virgin. Gratitude and relief were literally washing over me. (As an aside, I realized recently that the event in question happened 30 years ago this week. Yikes.)

Anyway, the song. I was driving home with the radio on, and "Round and Round", the one and only hit by metal band Ratt came on. The hard pumping beat was exactly what I was feeling, and I turned it up loud. It felt and sounded *perfect*. At that moment, all was right with the world.

The song got airplay for the rest of that summer, and I'd keep my buddies from changing the station when it came on. They'd tease me about liking the song, and I just smiled a secret smile. Actually, when talking about music and bands, sometimes they'll still tease me about it ("Hey Max, how about we put on some Ratt for you?") - and I still smile inwardly.

I'm pretty certain this song will make no one else's list - but hearing it will always transport me back to a memorable summer night.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

A Small Wager

I've recently been visiting some colleges and taking the campus tours with a daughter. She's a good kid and good company, and it's been a lot of fun. But I've about had it with the tour guides. First of all, everything they say is sales pitch and propaganda. According to the guides, every school we've been to is filled with 100% engaged students who are completely thrilled at the education they're getting, a faculty who lives and breathes to get to know their undergrads better and give them sage guidance, dining halls serving food that's both nutritious and delicious, etc., etc. Sorry, I've been to college, and I know sugar-coating when I hear it.

Secondly, the tour guides are the over-achievers. Straight A students, president of five different clubs, involved in everything. Apparently never had a beer, a smoke, or kissed a girl. It's party line all the way. Do not say *anything* that might alarm the parents.

Anyway, one of these brown-nosers told the following story to illustrate how amazing the food service was at his school. A female friend of his is vegan, and he's a cheeseburger kind of guy. Well, she bet him that he could eat nothing but the school's vegan offerings for two weeks and be perfectly happy. He did it, and was *delighted* with the food. So she owed him.

At this point, my imagination kicked in. After I've eaten nothing but vegan food for two weeks, what am I asking for in return?

A blowjob every day for two weeks? That seems like a fair trade....


Or maybe something like this. Pay off the debt in one night. That would work too.


But no, here's what he got in return. The next semester, she had to take an art history class that he loved.

Sigh....

Friday, June 27, 2014

FFF: All Aboard


I'd heard the talk that air travel was the way of the future, but it seemed hard to imagine that it could be as civilized as going by train. I made my way through the terminal at Penn Station and boarded the Broadway Limited. New York to Chicago in 15 hours, arriving at 8am. Why would anyone want to get there faster than that?

Besides, there were other luxuries I bet you couldn't get on an airplane.

"Miss Morgenstern, I'm going to order a martini from the club car while we review the Amalgamated Products file. We meet with the vice president at 9am, and the numbers have to be right."

"I've already double and triple checked them, sir. Everything's in order. Your presentation is ready."

"Excellent. Perhaps you'd like a drink too?"

She caressed my leg with her foot, starting at my ankle...then moving higher. "I took the liberty of having our drinks and dinner sent to our berth. I thought we might want a little...privacy."

"Yes," I winked, "we might."

The whistle blew as we came out of the tunnel. The clouds were parting and the sun was low in the west. Fifteen hours to Chicago. Perfect.

(200 words)



The challenge this week was:

Key Words: Parting, Station (check)
Word Limit: 200 (check)
Forbidden Words: Discreet, Forbidden, Tryst (check)
Extra Credit: Name the train and the destination (check)

Go see Advizor to see who else is participating.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Tough Choices and Wood Nymphs

Sensual Goddess: (with a twinkle in her eye) So, you're going out into the woods with your buddies instead of coming with me to (home and native land).

Me: Well, yeah..this trip's been on the calendar for a while, and I didn't know it would be the only time you could go.

SG: Of course, I understand. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you're choosing. Sleeping on the ground, in the company of smelly guys. I know you'll enjoy the hiking and the camaraderie. That's a good choice - even if the alternative is going where we could find another Saucy to entertain us. And where you get wakened with a "Canadian good morning." I'm sure you'll be just as happy in your tent.

Me: (laughing, shaking my head, and muttering under my breath) I wasn't exactly thinking of my choice in those terms....

SG: I'm happy to help clarify things for you. I'd go visit Saucy on my own - but it's more fun to watch your reaction. Next time for sure. And maybe this will be the time you find a wood nymph who can take care of you.

Me: Seems unlikely. But hope springs eternal. And I'll tell you all about it if I do!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Sex on the Beach

No, not the drink. Here's a headline from my local news today:
Cops: Couple charged for sex on Sea Isle beach
And yes, the pic on the right is the actual newspaper photograph.

I understand that sometimes it just doesn't feel like you can wait for one more second, and the whole world disappears except for the two of us.... But really? In the surf at a popular beach at 4:00 on a Sunday afternoon? And indiscreet enough that, to quote from the article, "a crowd of spectators had already formed"?

Crazy kids these days....

I'll admit that sex on the beach is something I've never done - and while it's a nice thought or fantasy, it's not an actual desire of mine. The thought of sand in the privates makes me wince. In my experience, going back to the room and a nice comfy bed has always seemed like a much better option.

Anyone have thoughts or experiences on beach sex they'd like to share? 

Monday, May 26, 2014

Growing Up with Porn

Sillyone at Teetering on the Brink of Normalcy posted (here) about parenting in the age of internet pornography - and specifically, what to do about a 15-year-old son.

Tom at Three Spelling Mistakes weighed in with In My Day... - and he and I seem to have grown up in the same era. When I think about the lengths we would go as boys just to see a Playboy or a Penthouse magazine.... And often there was nothing you could *do* - you simply had to wait until the porn fairy saw fit to grace you with a stash of woods porn (as I've written about.)

Those Penthouse magazines were more valuable than gold. And as dangerous and unstable as uranium. Once you had one, did you risk bringing it in the house to stash in your bedroom (high risk, high reward) - or did you try to find a super-secret spot to hide it in the woods (no risk of parents, but the risk that it would be found...or rained on and ruined...plus you couldn't be, *ahem*, alone with it.)

Even into my 20's, porn meant Cinemax soft-core porn late at night on Fridays and Saturdays. *Atrocious* movies - but I'd stay up and watch the whole thing just to see ten minutes of horrible unconvincing simulated sex. But that's what was available.

I really can't imagine being that horny (and I don't have words for how *desperately* horny a teenage boy can be - it's pretty much all-consuming) - and having access to unlimited free hardcore porn. If you'd given me a laptop with unlimited access to porn, I really think I never would have come out of my room.

Anyway, this is more reminiscing about a time I wouldn't go back to for all the money in the world than giving any thoughtful advice to the parent of a current 15-year-old. Looking at the feedback to the original post, there's a link to a Dan Savage post that seems like a really good answer.

I guess teen sexuality has always been a minefield, and ubiquitous porn hasn't made it any easier.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Five Times a Week

I just saw this on my Facebook feed. The journal reference is here.

Key results and conclusions:
Men who averaged five or more ejaculations weekly in their 20s had an odds ratio (95% confidence interval) of 0.66 (0.49–0.87) compared with those who ejaculated less often.

Ejaculatory frequency, especially in early adult life, is negatively associated with the risk of prostate cancer....
If this is true, then the odds are definitely in my favor. In my 20's, I'm pretty sure I was averaging seven times or more per week. I'm not in my 20's any more - but I think I'd better keep up the five times per week, just to be safe.

I love it when science recommends that I do what I'm already doing. :-)